Family Role Enthusiast Pillows

"I'm having an identity crisis. I can't keep track of whether I'm Nana, Mimi, or Grandma Wolcott."

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

No one has ever been accused of choosing bad relatives.

Wedding Day Itinerary.

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

"Whoa. Someone needs their diaper changed."

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

'Everything I say to you goes in one ear and out the other.'

I love my family!

"Listen. Nobody's cuter than anyone else! You're all equally cute!"

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

"I'm so good at this!"

"It's bold! It's moving! It's inspired! But what is it?"

It's a Boy

Mother's Love

"No monsters, but there's a tear in the carpeting and I see hardwood!"

Lady asking her fiance's son if she can be his new mother.

"Use your inside scream."

'I think babies grow in a mommy's tummy and adopted babies grow in a mommy's heart.'

"And remember, it's important to wake them up at hourly intervals."

'If your boss is so dumb, daddy, why did he hire you?'

'They're a very successful family.'

"I think it's time we learned to stand up for our selves."

Baby, baby maker

"Do you have to do that even when it's not Valentine's Day?"

"Ours will be the first mixed marriage in my family. Dog people NEVER marry cat people."

"All I ask is a chance to ruin my life in my own way."

'Oops! It says administer at bedtime. Guess that makes it bedtime.'

Family sitting on sofa.

'Sorry, he can't come out and play. He's grounded.'

"I read the audio book."

World's Best Dad. I don't know. I thought they were with you. World's Best Mom.

"It's important to women that a man has a good relationship with his mother."

"Yes, "breeding like rabbits" is often used in a pejorative sense. The truth is, we don't care as we love having kids..."

'If he hasn't got a name yet, how do we know he's ours?'