Family Enthusiasts Pillows

'He looks a bit like both of you.'

"I already assisted with your birth—what do you want now?"

Truth in Parenthood

Family sitting on sofa.

"Actually, my in-laws are very fond of me. I married my cousin."

Mom! Don't call me abominadorable in front of my friends!

"This is nice, but I can't help but think we forgot something."

No one has ever been accused of choosing bad relatives.

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

'The kids were so sweet...'

"Whoa. Someone needs their diaper changed."

A child interrupting family prayers

'But, Mom. Think of all the leftovers he can thankfully eliminate.'

"Listen. Nobody's cuter than anyone else! You're all equally cute!"

'She posted her first blog today.'

I love my family!

Grounded

Lady asking her fiance's son if she can be his new mother.

Mother's Love

"Use your inside scream."

It's a Boy

'I think babies grow in a mommy's tummy and adopted babies grow in a mommy's heart.'

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies!'

"And remember, it's important to wake them up at hourly intervals."

"Do you have to do that even when it's not Valentine's Day?"

'They're a very successful family.'

"I'm used to falling asleep with the TV on. Read me an infomercial."

"But Mom, how can it be a vacation when you're taking me to school?"

"Ours will be the first mixed marriage in my family. Dog people NEVER marry cat people."

'I'm concerned that the children may be playing too rough.'

"All I ask is a chance to ruin my life in my own way."

One of Many California Gene Pools

"I'm so sorry that I screamed...I had a terrible dream: the kids had to leave college and live with us again...Oh, Ed, it was horrible!"