Parental Guidance Warrior Gifts

Parental Advisory Stickers

'Are you finished eating yet, sweetie?...Guess that answers THAT question!'

"My kid's a holy terror... no offense."

Mom, there's a simple explanation for this...Aliens from outer space.

'I can't control my anger when people get too close to my kids...'

Baby pram as a tank

'Stop pulling that silly face, Dear.'

Well, we thought we had childproofed the house

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

'We'll need lots of nappy changes today, the T. V. just said it's going to be wet and windy.'

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

'I'm not spoiled - I always smell like this.'

That's my daughter, Alayna

'Tommy's doing fine. I'm concerned about your poor fund-raising record. You sold only two magazine subscriptions and one measly candy bar.'

"Has your mom tried turning him off and back on again?"

'You've got the Vietnam 1000 yard stare. All new parents get it!'

Buggy with Snowplow.

'Beware of teething baby.'

Woman telling her husband not to swear in front of the baby.

"Be afraid to try new things!"

Woman feeding baby is covered in food.

"Being a parent is like being in prison. . . except we don't get the hour of exercise."

'Hey, Dad. We learned all about the Kama Sutra at school today... Oh no, not the Kama Sutra, I mean The Magna Carta.'

'I'm going to bed...whatever...'

Pinata good bags.

"'Parent' should always be an action verb."

"Good luck Mr. Bond, you have one minute to diffuse this tantrum."

"Jackson Pollock's diaper"

"No, I wasn't in a car accident. As a new parent, I'm still trying not to trip on all the toys on the floor."

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

"Puffiness and dark circles under the eyes, sniffles, trouble sleeping, rashes...you don't have allergies...you have children."

'These are very powerful tranquilizers for when your teen has he horrific tantrums. Take two of them anytime she flares up.'

"I'm in real trouble this time -- I broke the house!"

"He keeps touching me!"