Parenting Warrior Gifts

"I had a bad dream that you were getting rest."

"I think it's time we started seeing other people"

"I'm so tired I can't even think straight."

"Puffiness and dark circles under the eyes, sniffles, trouble sleeping, rashes...you don't have allergies...you have children."

'Don't know what else to do. The medication obviously isn't working.'

"Oh, and when you get a chance, would you start taking responsibility for your own life?"

'Happy 'Respect Your Parents Day' now take your card and shut up.'

Tantrum

'It's tough raising teenagers. We tried tough-love. When that didn't work, we used tough-luck.'

"Tough time getting out of the house this morning?"

'Normally I'd be strongly opposed to a womanh your age electing a permanent birth control option...but in your case-'

"Aww, honey, why the angry emoticon?"

'You're giving me an ulcer!'

"You wouldn't think he was a gift from God, would you?"

The surrendered mom

'Oops...excuse us...Jeremy just downloaded in his pants.'

"Then again, in some extreme cases, a swift kick in the pants is called for!"

"I'm sure it's just a phase he's going through, and that insisting we call him 'Ishmael' will soon pass."

'Oh, sure, you can dish it out, but you can't take it.'

"We'll be empty nesters soon. Hang in there."

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

"I don't care what mom calls them. I've never heard of a McBrussels Sprout before."

"If the kicking and screaming doesn't work, try holding your breath until they get the doll for you!"

'Is there a child psychologist in the house?!'

'I wish I came in a child-proof container.'

'We'll need lots of nappy changes today, the T. V. just said it's going to be wet and windy.'

'Sorry about that - Harry's into everything at the moment.'

'And to think I started out as a little bundle of joy.'

'You've got the Vietnam 1000 yard stare. All new parents get it!'

Why most parents would rather drop the charges than take their kids to court.

'Mom. This is a no-go. Can we try again tomorrow?'

'I'm celebrating, I came from my teenagers birthday party and survived,'

Teenage tantrum shelter.

'Do You Know Where Your Children Are?'

"Has your mom tried turning him off and back on again?"