Parental Guidance Warrior Pillows

Parental Advisory Stickers

Mom, there's a simple explanation for this...Aliens from outer space.

'I can't control my anger when people get too close to my kids...'

"My kid's a holy terror... no offense."

Baby pram as a tank

'We'll need lots of nappy changes today, the T. V. just said it's going to be wet and windy.'

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

'Stop pulling that silly face, Dear.'

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

'I'm not spoiled - I always smell like this.'

'You've got the Vietnam 1000 yard stare. All new parents get it!'

"Has your mom tried turning him off and back on again?"

Buggy with Snowplow.

'Beware of teething baby.'

Woman telling her husband not to swear in front of the baby.

"Be afraid to try new things!"

"Being a parent is like being in prison. . . except we don't get the hour of exercise."

"Jackson Pollock's diaper"

"Good luck Mr. Bond, you have one minute to diffuse this tantrum."

"No, I wasn't in a car accident. As a new parent, I'm still trying not to trip on all the toys on the floor."

"'Parent' should always be an action verb."

'I'm going to bed...whatever...'

'Hey, Dad. We learned all about the Kama Sutra at school today... Oh no, not the Kama Sutra, I mean The Magna Carta.'

Woman feeding baby is covered in food.

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

'These are very powerful tranquilizers for when your teen has he horrific tantrums. Take two of them anytime she flares up.'

'I wish I came in a child-proof container.'

"I'm not against having more children, I'd just like to finish with this one first."

"He keeps touching me!"