Parenting Warriors Pillows

"Here's the deal: we call the shots when your're young, you call the shots when we're old, and everything in between is a non-stop battle for control."

'Mommy! Mommy! Look at me!'

'So how long have you had teenage children?'

"If I had to classify our parenting style, I would call it a 24/7, terrifying, all-consuming, worrying style."

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

"Family vacation is an oxymoron."

'Parenting skills don't come naturally. You learn from the experience of screwing up your kids just like your parents did.'

'While we realize it's difficult having a sick child at home, Mrs. Mote, we believe you sent Philip back a little soon.'

'I'm not ready to learn about the birds and the bees, Dad...the birth trauma is still too fresh in my mind.'

Kids arguing. Mum says to Dad - 'Don't chastise them darling! They'll give you a mouthload of abuse...'

'Billy, I'm not going to argue the semantics of biting. Whether or not you penetrated skin, I'm calling your mother.'

'Bring out your obnoxious teenager!'

"I'm sorry, Sir, but you can't change seats to et away from a problem child, if that child is yours."

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

'Beware of teething baby.'

'Hang in there, buddy! It'll go fast. . . believe me, if you resist it'll only be worse!!. . . Some kids just have to learnt he hard way.'

Buggy with Snowplow.

"Let's make a promise. When he's a teenager, we'll wake him up in the middle of the night."

"There but for the grace of God, go our children."

'I've had it for the last seventeen years.'

"A bottle of your finest formula for the table."

'These are very powerful tranquilizers for when your teen has he horrific tantrums. Take two of them anytime she flares up.'

Caution: Clueless Parents

"I've got two teenage daughters and only one bathroom! This is the only way I can take a shower!"

"I changed my mind – no more kids."

'I tried to clean my room but dirt doesn't burn!"

'Hey, Dad. We learned all about the Kama Sutra at school today... Oh no, not the Kama Sutra, I mean The Magna Carta.'

'Can you move me to the top of your prayer list?'

Half-Priced Children.

'Oh bugger! I completely forgot that it's school run time!'

Lincoln Middle School: Parents, you only have 23 days to re-civilize your kids...

"I don't think I like this adultescent phase."

"He keeps touching me!"

"This ride is for parents and their kids."

"Am I doing something wrong? He won't even consider hibernating."