Parental Guidance Follower Pillows

"My Mother was right. She told me when I was eighteen, that if I married him it wouldnt last!"

'I knew things were getting out of hand when I went from snips, to snails, to puppy dogs tails....'

'Never mind about buying that trampoline. I love your new bed!'

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

Father

"Where am I going to college? I thought this was college."

"Be afraid to try new things!"

'If you are not careful, son, you will be mathematically eliminated from all of the Ivy League schools.'

Dummies for Dummies.

'I'm going to bed...whatever...'

Ask your mother computer.

Exam Room.

"Better safe than sorry, son."

"Your inability to turn off your critical voice, combined with your fear of disappointing your overbearing, demanding father, is causing you to lose faith in your fastball."

'Obviously, the school board is giving an unfair advantage to gifted students.'

'I'm getting a little concerned about Timmy. He hasn't wormed his way out of anything all semester.'

'My mother made me apply.'

'Soon he will stop asking where he came from and start telling you where he is going.'

"Hahahaha! Oh, you are hilarious! Help you with your math homework … hahahaha!"

Before birds and bees,

"This is humiliating. Couldn't you drop me a block from school?"

'I remember when she was proud to be seen with her parents.'

'How many times have I told you to stop playing with that calculator?'

Promise me, Alex, that you'll find work in the fields or factories, and won't follow your father into the data mines.

'No, the Patriot Act doesn't make it all right for you to read your sister's diary!'

"My day? Don't even get me started!"

"Okay...seriously...it's nothing to worry about, Dad."

"Aaack! How did an unscheduled hour get on your calendar? This will not look good on your college application."

"The thing is, I've grown and you haven't."

"Ten more minutes of media manipulation, then it's off to bed."

"Dad, remember how you bungled the Lorton account?"

Cinema Certification, Suitable for kids, but will drive parents to distraction.

Wayside Elementary School - Now Available: Curbside Pickup!

'I think I've just made a terrible mistake.'

'Why can't you try to be more like me?'