Parental Guidance Appreciator Pillows

"This is humiliating. Couldn't you drop me a block from school?"

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

"Be afraid to try new things!"

Judge, jury and executioner.

'I'm going to bed...whatever...'

"Someday when you have a kid of your own and you feel the urge to arbitrarily say no just because you can, you'll understand."

"And this is Joshua, he'll be a hundred and forty-seven months next week."

"...My daughter, the model..."

"Your inability to turn off your critical voice, combined with your fear of disappointing your overbearing, demanding father, is causing you to lose faith in your fastball."

'My mother made me apply.'

'Hey Mum, look what I caught!'

Before birds and bees,

"Very impressive. Leave it with me. Mommy will get back to you by the week."

'How many times have I told you to stop playing with that calculator?'

"I'm not surprised that it's a bad school report. Statistics indicate that children get their intelligence from their fathers!"

'It seems like only yesterday that Sharon was knee high!'

"Aaack! How did an unscheduled hour get on your calendar? This will not look good on your college application."

When we're first born, they clean up our drooling. When we can't swim, they help with our pooling. When halloween comes, they take us ghouling. When homework gets tough, they aid with our schooling. When it gets hot, they make sure we're cooling. Moms are the best! We thank you, no fooling!

'Ms. Evertz, has my mother been snooping around my office again?'

'It's a little read book... the sayings of charwoman mum.'

I need to take the day off. Family tragedy. What happened? An errant parachutist crash-landed. My grandmother knocked down. Then attacked by clowns. No one ever buys sick day anymore.

"Just dropped by to do my groceries."

Friends began to feel that Gina was only dating Howard as a father figure.

Parental Valentines Day Cards

"Go ahead. Ask Grandpa to tell you the story about why we don't play with matches."

'Why can't you try to be more like me?'

'Come on Timmy, you must eat your greens.'

"My Mother was right. She told me when I was eighteen, that if I married him it wouldnt last!"

"At least you're not afraid to fail."

'Quick! Kids! There's a positive male role model on the television...'

Kids watching television, "I've just seen a nipple it must be nine o' clock!"

'You'll find the facts of life son, on Sesame Street adn the Late World News.'

Are you ready for the greatest treat in the world? Please don't do this. You are about to see the cutest baby. He's adorable. Excellent. I love babies. Aaaah! Didn't I tell you? Don't speak. Looks like a 90-year-old member of the British Parliament. Speechless, I know. Want another peek? No, please! No, it's too incredible for me. Beauty is in the eye of the mother.

"-and he says his best friend wants to meet you!"

Teenagers lie 14 times a day on average. Mom? I'm going to study at Emily's. Fantasy football, dad! But at what times?