Parental Authority Appreciator Pillows

Judge, jury and executioner.

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

"Someday when you have a kid of your own and you feel the urge to arbitrarily say no just because you can, you'll understand."

Soldier, Statesman, Travel Agent

"You just wait tilll your father gets home!!"

'Your opinions are a rephrasing of my opinions. I like that in a subordinate.'

"This is humiliating. Couldn't you drop me a block from school?"

"Very impressive. Leave it with me. Mommy will get back to you by the week."

"I'm not surprised that it's a bad school report. Statistics indicate that children get their intelligence from their fathers!"

'It seems like only yesterday that Sharon was knee high!'

"Nice touch, Jenkins. I like a man who salutes."

When we're first born, they clean up our drooling. When we can't swim, they help with our pooling. When halloween comes, they take us ghouling. When homework gets tough, they aid with our schooling. When it gets hot, they make sure we're cooling. Moms are the best! We thank you, no fooling!

My mom won't let me walk to school. I might get mugged. She won't let me play sports. I might get injured. West Fester High School. And she won't let me get onto the scales. Why not? It might hurt my self-esteem.

'I don't think your dad likes me, Angie.'

'It's a little read book... the sayings of charwoman mum.'

"Just dropped by to do my groceries."

Friends began to feel that Gina was only dating Howard as a father figure.

"Baldo, no one likes being told what to do...but taking direction is a part of life."

Parental Valentines Day Cards

"Go ahead. Ask Grandpa to tell you the story about why we don't play with matches."

I need to take the day off. Family tragedy. What happened? An errant parachutist crash-landed. My grandmother knocked down. Then attacked by clowns. No one ever buys sick day anymore.

"Sure, we hobnobbed, but we never networked."

"My parents are at the age where they're very involved with their own activities."

Scottish drill sergeant.

Policemen marching

"At least you're not afraid to fail."

'Come on Timmy, you must eat your greens.'

'Quick! Kids! There's a positive male role model on the television...'

"This gold star is for being a good cop and...hey you! Don't turn around! You have been a very bad cop!"

That's perfect, my eyes follow you around the boardroom.

'Admit it! You enjoy firing people, don't you?'

World's Greatest Mom...I approve of this message.

Teenagers lie 14 times a day on average. Mom? I'm going to study at Emily's. Fantasy football, dad! But at what times?

'When it comes to families 'none of the above' is a huge category.'

'You flunked math.'