Parental Dynamic Appreciator Pillows

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

Judge, jury and executioner.

'Dad, I don't need a two-thirds majority to over-ride your veto. I've got mom.'

'Male, 38, still living with his parents. They asked us to keep him overnight, so they could change the locks.'

"Someday when you have a kid of your own and you feel the urge to arbitrarily say no just because you can, you'll understand."

'Do you think Mum and Dad are trying to keep an eye on us, by enroling on the same university course as us, Colin?'

'I've been disrespectful again, Dad.'

'Creative right?'

'Thank you, my dear, for taking the runt of my litter in holy matrimony...'

"This is humiliating. Couldn't you drop me a block from school?"

"Very impressive. Leave it with me. Mommy will get back to you by the week."

'Any chance of getting a financial advance on my loose tooth?'

'You sure know how to get under my Dad's skin.'

"I'm not surprised that it's a bad school report. Statistics indicate that children get their intelligence from their fathers!"

"Mom, Dad, am I adopted?"

"Jack and Nina's concern grew when their son, James, confided in them that his imaginary friend was, in fact, a short-tempered snapping turtle."

"What's it like to have sexually active parents?"

"My mom has a new boyfriend, my dad has a new girlfriend and all I got was a new therapist."

'It's a little read book... the sayings of charwoman mum.'

"Just dropped by to do my groceries."

'Did you get the promotion?'

'I don't think your dad likes me, Angie.'

'The good news is that I've brought you a new pair of bicycle clips...'

"My parents are at the age where they're very involved with their own activities."

"My parents said they'd disown me if I ever took drugs...personally, I think it's the alcohol talking."

Parental Valentines Day Cards

'If you want me to be a good boy, you're going to have to lower your standards.'

"At least you're not afraid to fail."

'Come on Timmy, you must eat your greens.'

'Great news! Your father's got a job.'

"Instead of calling me Grandpa, why don't you just call me Herb?"

'Quick! Kids! There's a positive male role model on the television...'

'Last night my parents said they didn't mind a bit and it was perfectly OK with them if I smoked... so I quit.'