Parental Advice Appreciator Pillows

'Come on Timmy, you must eat your greens.'

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

'He never listened to his mother!'

Judge, jury and executioner.

"Someday when you have a kid of your own and you feel the urge to arbitrarily say no just because you can, you'll understand."

"...My daughter, the model..."

'Hey Mum, look what I caught!'

"This is humiliating. Couldn't you drop me a block from school?"

"Very impressive. Leave it with me. Mommy will get back to you by the week."

'I don't mind them, but I would like to see my daughter getting married to one of them!'

A Victorian park.

"I'm not surprised that it's a bad school report. Statistics indicate that children get their intelligence from their fathers!"

'Said once, and never again!'

When we're first born, they clean up our drooling. When we can't swim, they help with our pooling. When halloween comes, they take us ghouling. When homework gets tough, they aid with our schooling. When it gets hot, they make sure we're cooling. Moms are the best! We thank you, no fooling!

'Ms. Evertz, has my mother been snooping around my office again?'

"Just dropped by to do my groceries."

I should have listened to my Mum: 'Never sit down during the hunting season...'

Friends began to feel that Gina was only dating Howard as a father figure.

"Oi you two! What going on in here?"

‘Sat too close to the TV;’ ‘Stared at the Sun For an Hour,’ ‘Put Out My Eye With a BB Gun.’

'I don't think your dad likes me, Angie.'

Parental Valentines Day Cards

'It's a little read book... the sayings of charwoman mum.'

"At least you're not afraid to fail."

'I should have listened to my parents and not run away to join the circus...'

'Your father kicked in the screen and threw the set out the window. He feels violence on TV is a bad influence.'

'Quick! Kids! There's a positive male role model on the television...'

"Look, Alice, if you're unhappy with your life, just do what I do: whisper you wants and needs into a cloth napkin, then crumple it up and put it in your lap."

The world's #1 motivational speaker

Put on some clothes. You'll catch your death! Do you know what time it is? You're so skinny, are you eating? Let me make you a sandwich! Mamarazzi.

'You did a great job explaining the 'birds and bees.' Try your hand at the 'empty nest.''

I told you not to fill up on bread before the meal.

"Remember – not all of them become chickens."

TV: 'The following program is rated 'G', with parental discretion advised for the commercials.'

"Do you like creepily polite children of strangers?"