Parental Advice Lover Pillows

'You did a great job explaining the 'birds and bees.' Try your hand at the 'empty nest.''

"Be afraid to try new things!"

'He never listened to his mother!'

"And you call yourself a marsupial?"

'I've fallen in love and i've fallen in porage and believe me: porage is better.'

'Oh, we don't actually teach math any more ? we found it was too hard on the kids' self-esteem.'

'I'm not sure if it's the programs or the commercials, but one is supposed to be a lot worse than the other.'

"Other than being sent to the principal's office, my detention, and three day suspension, school was good."

'My mom just explained babies to me. I'm not sure, but I think I'm a bird and you're a bee.'

"Go ask your mother."

'Mother knows best, Dear, so stop rolling your eyes.'

"If it's important to you, Jessica. It's important to daddy, but I don't think it's important to you."

"Don't make me come over there."

"Of course, you've always set a good example for me ... that's why you embarrass me so much."

A Victorian park.

'I don't mind them, but I would like to see my daughter getting married to one of them!'

"And I suppose if your friends all jumped off a cliff you'd follow right along?"

'Said once, and never again!'

"Do you provide any coupons that would allow me one free lie? It would help ease my conscience."

"I'm confused....you always say not to take candy from strangers, but tonight you tell me to go to strangers and ask for candy!"

"Oi you two! What going on in here?"

"No thanks! My dad said those things will kill you!"

‘Sat too close to the TV;’ ‘Stared at the Sun For an Hour,’ ‘Put Out My Eye With a BB Gun.’

"Oh yeah... well I say my kid is better at math and social studies than your kid!"

"I don't have a story, Tommy. I can offer a retrospective of your day, followed by a deep-dive to identify opportunities for improvement."

"Baldo, school has always been about learning, expanding your mind, becoming a better person."

'Why can't you try to be more like me?'

'People must be crazy to pay to hear a lecture! I get 'em free at home every day!'

'Come on Timmy, you must eat your greens.'

'Mum,are we born from an egg?' 'No honey. People bring us at night'

Parents for dummies.

'You won't understand it now, but when you have kids, you'll wish for a longer school day.'

"You're getting older now. We need to discuss the Pterodactyles and the bees."