Parental Advice Pillows

A Victorian park.

'I don't mind them, but I would like to see my daughter getting married to one of them!'

'Never underestimate the value of pipe-dreams, my son.'

"I told you not to touch it. I should've used your language and told you not to click on it."

Icarus, you are not flying anywhere until you put on some sunscreen.

'Feel free to get a second opinion. I can give you the number to my mom.'

"Grandmom told me "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach." I told her that has medical malpractice written all over it!"

"You know, son, you're not going to get anywhere just gliding around all the time!"

'He never listened to his mother!'

Warring parents

'Oh, we don't actually teach math any more ? we found it was too hard on the kids' self-esteem.'

Son, it's time you grew some legs and moved out.

"Other than being sent to the principal's office, my detention, and three day suspension, school was good."

Mom's The Boss

"Stop telling me how well you did on the written."

'My mom just explained babies to me. I'm not sure, but I think I'm a bird and you're a bee.'

'My mother made me apply.'

'I may not be able to smack you, but it won't stop the 'Bogie Man' coming to get you if you are naughty !'

Wow, you're right! Your mom's regurgitated worms are way better than my mom's!

"Oh, don't jump. But at least learn to code."

Before birds and bees,

'Mother knows best, Dear, so stop rolling your eyes.'

"Sorry, son. . . You're not getting the keys to the car until you show me you're mature enough to bring it back completely totaled."

"They grow so fast. In my day, you didn't become morbidly obese until adulthood."

"Of course, you've always set a good example for me ... that's why you embarrass me so much."

"And I suppose if your friends all jumped off a cliff you'd follow right along?"

"I'm confused....you always say not to take candy from strangers, but tonight you tell me to go to strangers and ask for candy!"

'It's making me happy.'

"No thanks! My dad said those things will kill you!"

‘Sat too close to the TV;’ ‘Stared at the Sun For an Hour,’ ‘Put Out My Eye With a BB Gun.’

"Mother, I get enough pressure from my peer group without getting it from you."

"I've been a child psychologist for twenty years. Based on my experience, and several sessions with your son, I believe what is needed is a swift swat on his rump!"

"Oi you two! What going on in here?"

'Principal Smith, this is a parent of a student in your school. I'd like to discuss my son's grades. Is this a good time?'

"My Mom thinks I should clean my room. I'd like a second opinion."