Parental Advice Enthusiast Pillows

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

Suffering from Cooties?

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

I love my family!

"The moral of the story, honey, is that being a celebrity does not make you a credible children’s book author."

Growth Charts

Toddler Feeding Solutions

Early childhood development

'They're just adorable at this age - before they develop a personality.'

Crying baby

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: I need backup...NOW!

"Be afraid to try new things!"

'Look, dear. Her first opinion.'

'It wouldn't be right if I did your homework for you!' 'At least you could try!'

"Sure, helicopter parenting is bad but drone parenting is way worse."

Lemming mothers

"I'm tired of this full-time job. I want a part-time job."

'I think it may be a limited edition.'

"Sweet dreams my little tax break."

"My first Father's day!"

I'm here to update your census form. Since you mailed the form in, have any of your children moved back in with you?

"Ouch. . . Aaaargh!!. . . Stop it!. . . "

"And you call yourself a marsupial?"

Parenting magazines.

Husband and Child in Pram

Mother: 'He has your eyes.'

'Oh, we don't actually teach math any more ? we found it was too hard on the kids' self-esteem.'

'Well, put a jumper on if you're cold!'

"Use your indoor voice!"

"All right. Time to grow up."