Parent's Day At School Gifts

'This wouldn't have happened if you'd saved to send me to a private school.'

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

'But I digress...'

"My answers could be right. Your quiz just asked the wrong questions."

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

Pi Ala Mode.

"Your children are adorable...and so shiny!" "Thanks. I them in dish detergent."

My book report is based on the audio book of the same name.

'I'll give you a clue. The answer is a number, not a fruit.'

'I'm not happy with his latest school photo.'

'What wine goes with comfort foods?'

'I'm looking forward to parents' night. I'm going to ask these people their diet secrets.'

Common Core Family Therapy

"I hate negative numbers, and I'll stop at nothing to avoid them."

"Something just didn't add up."

In addition to brilliant grades and perfect SATs � Parents' night. College admissions. Your child should excel at 3 sports and lead a school extra-curricular like the newspaper. Don't the arts count? Sure! If your child sings, for example � A part on 'Glee' or in the Metropolitan Opera would certainly help. Our kids are doomed.

'I have answers to the kind of questions no one likes to ask.'

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

'Maybe he has some sort of mystic attachment to the soil.'

'Thank you for the apple Conrad. But in answer to your question, no, you may not address me as 'Boopsie'.'

"Have your parents sign this waiver concerning violations of personal space. . . then you guys can play tag."

'146 days of leadership without any negative press.'

'Ms. Blumter, please get me a copy of Educational Leadership for Dummies.'

'This course in philosophy is not designed to teach you how to make a living. I will be teaching you how to make a life.'

'He said his first words today - 'Let's sue them'.'

"I'll bet she was worn out by the end of teacher's meeting day."

The Best Art Teacher in the World.

'Every child is an artist but it appears your Candice is a plumber.'

'Actually, nowadays it's considered offensive to call an answer 'wrong'.'

Teacher's Inbox: In One Ear/Out The Other

'Before we begin, he's the one that's been helping me with my homework.'

'No Mis Evans. You know only substitute teachers are allowed to carry taser guns!'

Parent Involvement Tip #1