Parent's Day At School Pillows

'This wouldn't have happened if you'd saved to send me to a private school.'

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

"My answers could be right. Your quiz just asked the wrong questions."

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

Pi Ala Mode.

My book report is based on the audio book of the same name.

'I'll give you a clue. The answer is a number, not a fruit.'

"Your children are adorable...and so shiny!" "Thanks. I them in dish detergent."

'I'm not happy with his latest school photo.'

'What wine goes with comfort foods?'

'I'm looking forward to parents' night. I'm going to ask these people their diet secrets.'

"I hate negative numbers, and I'll stop at nothing to avoid them."

'Maybe he has some sort of mystic attachment to the soil.'

"Have your parents sign this waiver concerning violations of personal space. . . then you guys can play tag."

"Something just didn't add up."

'I have answers to the kind of questions no one likes to ask.'

'Thank you for the apple Conrad. But in answer to your question, no, you may not address me as 'Boopsie'.'

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

'146 days of leadership without any negative press.'

'Ms. Blumter, please get me a copy of Educational Leadership for Dummies.'

'This course in philosophy is not designed to teach you how to make a living. I will be teaching you how to make a life.'

'He said his first words today - 'Let's sue them'.'

'Every child is an artist but it appears your Candice is a plumber.'

The Best Art Teacher in the World.

Teacher's Inbox: In One Ear/Out The Other

"I'll bet she was worn out by the end of teacher's meeting day."

'Actually, nowadays it's considered offensive to call an answer 'wrong'.'

'Before we begin, he's the one that's been helping me with my homework.'

'No Mis Evans. You know only substitute teachers are allowed to carry taser guns!'

Parent Involvement Tip #1

"I'm afraid these grades aren't giving me a very satisfying vicarious life."