Parents' Evenings Gifts

Biological parent's night.

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

"Your children are adorable...and so shiny!" "Thanks. I them in dish detergent."

"You never told me your dad was so delightfully old-fashioned."

"Tonight I'm getting together with pals to sit around and croak."

'I'm looking forward to parents' night. I'm going to ask these people their diet secrets.'

'Maybe he has some sort of mystic attachment to the soil.'

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

“I have to warn you - my parents are a bit old-fashioned.”

In addition to brilliant grades and perfect SATs � Parents' night. College admissions. Your child should excel at 3 sports and lead a school extra-curricular like the newspaper. Don't the arts count? Sure! If your child sings, for example � A part on 'Glee' or in the Metropolitan Opera would certainly help. Our kids are doomed.

"My daughter tells me you want to become a doctor."

"Raymond's prospects look good, Daddy. . . He's pretty sure he's picked all six lotto numbers!"

'I should warn you about my father. He's a landscape gardener.'

"You may be in love, but can you support my daughter on what a herring makes?"

"I'll bet she was worn out by the end of teacher's meeting day."

"So this is the Mr. Waring who has made such a great impression on my little girl."

Wait – is that your dad? Tunnel of Love.

'He said his first words today - 'Let's sue them'.'

First love.

"We'd love to come, but we can't seem to find a sitter."

Parent Involvement Tip #1

'It's only fair Geraldine. I had to meet your parents.'

'Well, Eddy may look a bit rough, but he's good at heart - last week, he bought stocks from a company which produces cuddly puppy toys in pink ballet dresses!'

I am to blame.

"If it slows down, just ask my father about the murder he always swears he did not commit."

'He's my personal potty trainer.'

"Mom, this is Sarah, the friend I was telling you about."

"And what's the story behind the story?"

Dating The Daughter Of A Hockey Goalie

'My dad must like you, or he would have charged by now.'

Holding up a child so he can feed a giraffe.

'My Dad will like you. He's the care-taker at the monkey house in the zoo.'

'It would never work, Barry...imagine taking me home to meet your mother!'

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