Paranoia Pundits Gifts

"Hypochondriac's Handbook. Where was I?"

'Really, a foreign wine? What will the NSA think?'

'Don't worry -- I'll soon knock that paranoia out of you!'

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

Skeptic Tank.

No Immediate Danger

The Government's Got Your Back. And Wants Your Front As Well.

"A Bill of Rights? - Don't you TRUST me?"

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

"You dropped yer wallet."

National Living Wage from April 1st.

"Tell me why you think people are out to get you."

"Says, property of the I.R.S."

Prepper Dog

"Is this as good a bad time as any other bad time you've experienced?"

"It's Eden. You don't have to keep checking for ticks."

'Under new business, is anyone wearing a wire?'

"Oh no, not another pandemic!"

We can safely tell the Grand Jury your campaign money isn't soft, it's al dente.

"Fill out all these highly intrusive forms...we can't wait!"

New Year 2020

'I can't shake off this feeling we're being watched.'

'I checked my symptoms on the internet and I think I might be dead!'

'Do you get the feeling we're being watched?'

"I'm not concerned about us as long as there is nothing in the stimulus package for cats."

Cat holds sign that says 'come over here', dog holds a sign that says 'how?'

Big Bubba Is Watching You!

"It's great things are back to normal, except that there are people everywhere."

'I can feel it, Henderson - Someone out there is up to no good.'

Caterpillar Paranoia

'The trouble is not with your set -- the station just got hit with a new batch of politically correct Federal regulations.'

'Talk about paranoid. He reads the fine print on his money.'

"Bernie has fear of commitment - He thinks the American Psychiatric Association is out to get him."

"There's more to basketball than winning. There's also telling China to back off in Hong Kong."