Paranoia Debater Gifts

Beware: Safe Area.

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

No Immediate Danger

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

"You dropped yer wallet."

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

"Says, property of the I.R.S."

"Is this as good a bad time as any other bad time you've experienced?"

Prepper Dog

"It's Eden. You don't have to keep checking for ticks."

"Oh no, not another pandemic!"

'Under new business, is anyone wearing a wire?'

"Fill out all these highly intrusive forms...we can't wait!"

'I can't shake off this feeling we're being watched.'

'Do you get the feeling we're being watched?'

'It was definitely a bang. You heard it, I heard it, end of discussion.'

Big Bubba Is Watching You!

'I keep thinking I'm being watched...'

"Here we still are, eh? So much for the gloom-and-doom types who warned us against eating all the vegetation."

Good shrink, bad shrink.

"It's great things are back to normal, except that there are people everywhere."

It takes more than imminent danger to convince a true skeptic!

'I can feel it, Henderson - Someone out there is up to no good.'

Caterpillar Paranoia

Frank and Ernest's Cerebral Questions. Today's question is would an "elbowhead" be smarter or dumber than a "knucklehead"? (Published originally on October 12, 2015.)

"I have this nagging feeling that cartoonists are everywhere, drawing everything I do."

It's 10PM. Do you know if you're under electronic surveillance from a spy satellite?

We have control of you brain.

"Bernie has fear of commitment - He thinks the American Psychiatric Association is out to get him."

'Talk about paranoid. He reads the fine print on his money.'

'Ever get the feeling that you're being watched?'

'I'm not a guru. I just came up here until the ebola scare goes away.'

The end is near. The end is nearish. I get this way every spring.

'I think a grim reaper is following me...'

'Well, we've probed and diagnosed you thoroughly and still have found nothing. Now Dr. Thompson here would like you to lie down in his office for a special 'hypochondria scan.''