Paranoia Ponderers Gifts

"Oh no, not another pandemic!"

'I can't shake off this feeling we're being watched.'

The pessimist and the paranoid

"If your boyfriend hadn't posted you so many gifts, we would never had met."

'Hello, Security?'

Prepper Dog

'I feel like everyone's out to get me.'

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

The Artist

Late BroomStick

"Why bother?"

"I'm sorry, but we're looking for someone who's more likely to be followed than following."

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

"Oh boy charades! I love charades! Something big? Is it a bird? It's sharp! Behind? Above?"

No Immediate Danger

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

"Needs to get a life"

Optimist

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

"I'm learning to live with existence."

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

WANTED Dead or Alive - Schrodinger's Cat.

Ten Commandments

"WOW, we're on top of the world!"

"I have good news and bad news about your cat, Dr Schrodinger..."

"You dropped yer wallet."

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

Schrödinger and his cat

Ghost puddle

"What's important is that we learn from what we must never admit happened."

Another Time Travel Pair o' Ducks.