Paranormal Ponderer Gifts

Welcome: Psychics Convention.

Captain Pointy No.5 - Skeptical about aliens

'I see live people.'

"Can you imagine how being the only one here makes me feel?"

'Sweetie, I'm back from the dead!'

"Most of these sins were committed before surveillance cameras, smartphones, or videotape, but you left a paper trail."

'Is there a lady in the audience whose late husband says he never did put up that shelf?'

For one embarrassing week, heaven ran out of normal wings,

'I think I'm having an out-of-body experience.'

'The not so Grim Reaper'.

'No, this is area 50...Area 51 is over that way...'

'Oh please uncle Jim! Tell us another creepy story of the living!'

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"Well, I've never seen this before...give me a minute...I'll need to ask the boss about this one."

ESP society.

Favoured angels were given a special pass for the 'Lift to Heaven'

'Before I eat your brain, would you mind holding a conversation on this mobile for half-an-hour? That should have it done to a turn.'

Ghost puddle

"This is about life on another planet."

The devil sits in front of clocks showing the time in various capitals

"Oh boy charades! I love charades! Something big? Is it a bird? It's sharp! Behind? Above?"

"According to your report he didn't take the probing very well."

"You do realize that this entire side of the galaxy is laughing at you and your NASCAR fixation don't you?"

Bob didn't know what frightened him more - the cat or the thought of reincarnation. . .

"Now we're really in trouble!!! It's the Power Walking Dead!!!"

You Should Be Here

"Is everything ok? You've hardly said 'Boo' all evening."

What Newton didn't see

"My mother warned me about marrying a poltergeist... I don't know what possessed me!"

Bl**dy squatters

"I imagine you're keen to catch up with your late husband?"

'You can fill your teddy bear with stuffing or with a demonic spirit summoned from the nether regions.'

"Okay, you're in, and you're in, and you're in. . . actually, you're all in."

"You, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you . . ."

"It's curious. No matter how hard I try, I can't find your life line."