Mystical Ponderer Gifts

"I see a vague figure of someone groping...groping...groping..Yes, yes, it's coming in more clearly now! It seems to be—yes, it is a man! The man has a briefcase! And some papers! The man is an economist!"

Let me put it this way - make sure you wear clean underwear next Tuesday.

"I need the answers to tomorrow's history test."

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"Why bother?"

'This wasn't quite the fairytale ending that Colin had anticipated...'

"Needs to get a life"

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

"Oh boy charades! I love charades! Something big? Is it a bird? It's sharp! Behind? Above?"

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

'There is no past. No future. Only the present, which is changing every instant. Time is merely an illusion. Got it?'

Ghost puddle

I know time is an earthly construct, but I still feel sleepy in the afternoons.

'You can fill your teddy bear with stuffing or with a demonic spirit summoned from the nether regions.'

'I want to find out what the formula was I wrote yesterday on the blackboard and was erased by the custodian.'

'When we bought this place we thought we'd only be making wine. Apparently, we're also into spirits.'

"Hey, Bob. Things haven't been quite the same since Richard Attenborough arrived here, have they?"

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

'Is there a lady in the audience whose late husband says he never did put up that shelf?'

'I say we try it.'

'Why can't we go on a field trip to heaven?

"I don't see HIS name on it."

"It is just as the Oracle foretold!"

'Congratulations, you've got the job. Unfortunately though, you'll be constantly late, and we'll fire you in two months.'

"I'll have dessert first."

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"Ok, you were right – dogs can see ghosts."

A voodoo doctor.

"OK, now what's the meaning of the other eight?"

'Scientists agree the universe is expanding - Mendenhall is trying to find out where the financing is coming from.'

'No, this is area 50...Area 51 is over that way...'

'He's always looking for an argument!'

'The hardest part of being a street crazy is picking each day's sign.'

"I'm sensing an awkward presence."

'You'll be going on a long journey this Christmas.'