Mystical Ponderer T-Shirts

"I see a vague figure of someone groping...groping...groping..Yes, yes, it's coming in more clearly now! It seems to be—yes, it is a man! The man has a briefcase! And some papers! The man is an economist!"

Let me put it this way - make sure you wear clean underwear next Tuesday.

"I need the answers to tomorrow's history test."

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"Why bother?"

"Needs to get a life"

"Oh boy charades! I love charades! Something big? Is it a bird? It's sharp! Behind? Above?"

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

'When we bought this place we thought we'd only be making wine. Apparently, we're also into spirits.'

'You can fill your teddy bear with stuffing or with a demonic spirit summoned from the nether regions.'

'I want to find out what the formula was I wrote yesterday on the blackboard and was erased by the custodian.'

'Is there a lady in the audience whose late husband says he never did put up that shelf?'

"I don't see HIS name on it."

A voodoo doctor.

"OK, now what's the meaning of the other eight?"

'I say we try it.'

'Why can't we go on a field trip to heaven?

"Ok, you were right – dogs can see ghosts."

"It is just as the Oracle foretold!"

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"I'll have dessert first."

'Congratulations, you've got the job. Unfortunately though, you'll be constantly late, and we'll fire you in two months.'

'Scientists agree the universe is expanding - Mendenhall is trying to find out where the financing is coming from.'

'No, this is area 50...Area 51 is over that way...'

'The hardest part of being a street crazy is picking each day's sign.'

"Now we're really in trouble!!! It's the Power Walking Dead!!!"

"I'm sensing an awkward presence."

'He's always looking for an argument!'

"I'm afraid Larry sleeps with more than just the fishes."

'You will be reincarnated as someone who undergoes past life regression.'

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'