Paradox Ponderers Gifts

Paradox Pub

A man unhappy that his steak has been partially eaten by someone else

'My thesis was entitled 'Tears of a Clown: Irony or Paradox?''

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

The Artist

Information. If you can't put toothpaste back in the tube, how did it get there in the first place?

'The part of your brain you used to diagnose what is wrong with you is what is wrong with you.'

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

'If you can read this you're breaking the law by walking on the grass.'

A psychic mows the lawn.

'Due to an anomaly in the space-time continuum, we now bring you 'The Colgate Comedy Hour'....'

'I wish there was someone here who could insult me and give me hope at the same time!'

"The problem with a cure is that you will once again feel your normal self."

Late BroomStick

"I'm sorry, but we're looking for someone who's more likely to be followed than following."

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

Paris' magnificent Trifle tower.

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

Optimist

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

"I'm learning to live with existence."

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

WANTED Dead or Alive - Schrodinger's Cat.

Ten Commandments

'Screen saver. . . or did his computer freeze again?'

"I have good news and bad news about your cat, Dr Schrodinger..."

Schrödinger and his cat

"What's important is that we learn from what we must never admit happened."

Another Time Travel Pair o' Ducks.

'As I recall you were the one who told him that he couldn't take it with him.'

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

"Oh my God, help! Is there a logician on board?!"

Sharing the Bed with Zeno

"Most people forget they've had amnesia."