Paradox Ponderer Gifts

Pavlov's dog eats Schrodinger's cat.

"About your cat, Mr. Schrödinger - I have good news and bad news."

"What's important is that we learn from what we must never admit happened."

'I think you'll be interested in the next patient. He's ninety two years old and accompanied by his parents.'

'Did you hear about Dr. Greenblat? -- he developed an immortality pill and choked to death on it.'

'We may, or may not, have cloned Schrodinger's cat.'

'I need some time off. I just discovered that I'm suing myself.'

'We're gaining market share in the areas where we lose money.'

'Your parents are worried about you. You're not rebellious, you don't take any substances, you don't have raging hormones...'

Optimist

'At least that's one thing less to worry about.'

Another Time Travel Pair o' Ducks.

Man is dark when the lights turn on.

"But I am responsible! When your lamp got broke, I was responsible...."

Impossible to Fill Vacancies

"'Damned if you do, Damned if you don't', … Talk about 'win, win'."

"Personally, I find it counterintuitive."

'As I mentioned next week in my talk on reversible time...'

Rare Books / Exceedingly Rare Books / Never Published Books

'Erwin Schrodinger plays 3-box monte...' 'All right - which box is the cat in?'

Pinocchio Confuses His Nose

Introduction to Metaphysics.

'I'm on three different diets. That way I get to eat more.'

'The more successful I become, the less money I make.'

"It's a curious thing: our living room just seems to end here."

Energy Conservation Be Damned. Fred constantly prepared for Global Warming and Nuclear Winter to happen at the same time.

Inventing Time Travel

'I'm running unopposed in the election, but just for fun let's run nasty, negative campaign anyway.'

'Your Honor... all the lies I told were true.'

'I have a question about this time machine. . .'

WANTED Dead or Alive - Schrodinger's Cat.

How to close a 24/7 mini-mart...

Schr?dinger's cat playing Scrabble.

Bank robber looks worried, in Northern Rock bank run.

I find it relaxes me.