Paradigm Ponderer Gifts

"I know this is all nonsense , but that's the paradigm I'm stuck with."

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

In/Out/These Things Happen.

The Artist

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

Chiller Theatre

"I'm sorry, but we're looking for someone who's more likely to be followed than following."

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

"Have you been playing dice?"

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

"Needs to get a life"

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

Sauce for the Goose

A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

"When we're home, are we still aliens?"

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

Optimist

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

I don't think I'm letting sunlight in when I open the curtains. I think the darkness is going out.

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

"I'm learning to live with existence."

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

"...I don't believe in the past or the future. I don't even believe in right now. Everyone remembers the past differently. Everyone imagines the future differently. Everyone even disagrees about what's happening right now. So who's to say tomorrow what you and I did tonight?"

'Why don't you try seeing it from your point of view?'

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

"May I offer a very different scenario?"

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

"I guess now's as good a time as any."