Paranoia Enthusiasts Gifts

'Bernie's not really a transvestite -- he's just paranoid about identity theft.'

"Doctor, I don't feel well."

'We need you to settle a bet -- was 'Twilight Zone' a sitcom or a documentary?'

Grim Reaper Buying CDs...

New Road Signs to Watch For:

Astral Projection

'So, what's for dinner ...a séance?'

"Had more ghost-hunters 'round my place last night....scared the daylights outta me!"

He snuck in on me again, didn't he.

"Get a tomb!"

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

"Dang, there goes another piece of the wife's good china. You see father, it's

"He says he's been sending you messages from beyond the grave but it's possible they're going straight into your junk folder."

"Tell me why you think people are out to get you."

"Which one is yours?"

'Es-yay. E's-hay ere-hay ight-ray ow-nay and-ay e-hay oesn't-day uspect-say a ing-thay!'

'... And your wife says; don't bother looking for the key to the drinks cabinet, because she's hidden it where you'll never find it.'

S�ance "I'm through to your husbands voice-mail"

'Harry! - If you can hear me - what did you do with the remote!?'

"Your husband says BOO!"

Polterguest: "When is your brother going to leave? He's driving me crazy!"

Fear of Flying Seminar

Prepper Dog

"Please, Daddy, just one more conspiracy theory."

'Under new business, is anyone wearing a wire?'

"Oh no, not another pandemic!"

'I can't shake off this feeling we're being watched.'

"Restless spirit, we don't know who or what you are, but thank you for your amazing Wi-Fi, and for keeping the signal strong."

Spiritual Show Observed by the Grim Reaper.

"Congratulations! You unlocked the devil in your coffee. Microwave a seventh time and you'll meet L. Ron Hubbard."

If Ghosts Were Real

Conspiracy Theory Books

"Do you see the one who possessed your soul?"

"Oh, don't mind us. We boo everybody."