Paranoia Fan Gifts

Look Behind You

'It's ten o'clock. Do you know where your car keys are?'

'Alone for the weekend at last!'

"Drunk, yet orderly"

Statue of Liberty with satellite dish and laptop spying on the World.

"It's not the paranormal activity that bothers me so much as the passive aggression."

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

The lion statues in front of New York City Library are replaced with spies.

"May I recommend THIS property? It's ideal for first-time haunters..."

'It's psychological I know, but it makes me feel warmer...'

"Says, property of the I.R.S."

Telekinetics on strike...

How to cope in Los Angeles vs. New York

"I'm not really into organized religion, though I am very spiritual."

Unsmiley face at the psychiatrist...

PSYCHIATRIC CLINIC, 'You know what I dread? -- March madness!'

"Dopamine Casino. Gambling that makes you feel like gambling."

'Yes, sir. I could show you the menu, but then I'd have to kill you.'

"Relax! I know how to make this look like a routine government surveillance operation!"

"I find it disturbing when you breathe through your nose."

"You are going to meet a beautiful young lady at a biology lesson. . ."

'Under new business, is anyone wearing a wire?'

"Fill out all these highly intrusive forms...we can't wait!"

"My self help book on self-esteem is not selling as well as I'd anticipated..!"

The response of a spirit during a seance is in fact an annoyed neighbour.

Big Bubba Is Watching You!

Haunted museum

'You're too aggressive.'

"I've got a friend who thinks I'm Napoleon."

"I think you need to enroll yourself in a good two-step program."

'Oh, no! The poltergeist has taken up juggling.'

"...The Spirits are out at the moment, but if you'd like to leave a message...."

"This guilt complex is killing me!"