Paranoia Fan Gifts

Look Behind You

'It's ten o'clock. Do you know where your car keys are?'

'Alone for the weekend at last!'

My Brother Al once went through a period of depression, your honor. He would just sit around in his robe all day. Then his psychiatrist got him out of his funk. Would you like to have his doctor's phone number? ? ?

"Drunk, yet orderly"

Statue of Liberty with satellite dish and laptop spying on the World.

"It's not the paranormal activity that bothers me so much as the passive aggression."

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

The lion statues in front of New York City Library are replaced with spies.

"May I recommend THIS property? It's ideal for first-time haunters..."

How to cope in Los Angeles vs. New York

Telekinetics on strike...

'There's an imposter among us!'

"Says, property of the I.R.S."

'It's psychological I know, but it makes me feel warmer...'

Unsmiley face at the psychiatrist...

"I find it disturbing when you breathe through your nose."

'Yes, sir. I could show you the menu, but then I'd have to kill you.'

PSYCHIATRIC CLINIC, 'You know what I dread? -- March madness!'

"You are going to meet a beautiful young lady at a biology lesson. . ."

"I'm not really into organized religion, though I am very spiritual."

"Dopamine Casino. Gambling that makes you feel like gambling."

'Call you back - I'm with my agent.'

"Relax! I know how to make this look like a routine government surveillance operation!"

'Under new business, is anyone wearing a wire?'

"Fill out all these highly intrusive forms...we can't wait!"

The response of a spirit during a seance is in fact an annoyed neighbour.

Big Bubba Is Watching You!

Haunted museum

"My self help book on self-esteem is not selling as well as I'd anticipated..!"

If I tell you what I spy with my little eye, I'll have to kill you.

'You're too aggressive.'

"...The Spirits are out at the moment, but if you'd like to leave a message...."

"I think you need to enroll yourself in a good two-step program."

"I've got a friend who thinks I'm Napoleon."