Paradox Fan Gifts

"Drunk, yet orderly"

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

'They all laughed when I told them that I was going to marry a magician.'

Sock Puppet in Literature

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

Spam in Hell.

"Believe me when I tell you that I'm not that honest."

'I use the clones to help prevent identity theft.'

"So, how's your other half?"

I see the Boris moon arising. . .

"The central digital platform is temporarily renamed Project Schrödinger’s Cat. Until it is accessed on the 24th February it both is and is not a working system."

"Are you sure? It doesn't look like a diet pill!"

'It began as The Great American Novel...but it finally sold as an infomercial.'

Lawyers On A Plane.

Unpopular Street Signs: Go, Please Litter, Yes Parking, Garbage Collection - Sometimes Never - Mon-Fri.

"When you order your dictator from Temu"

Old Yarns

'You're not fooling anybody but yourself.'

Bird flu parody of Monty Python's 'Dead parrot sketch'.

The Sedentary Dead.

Gym/Tan/Donut

'He was one of the finest illusionists I was ever privileged to see.'

'Applicant wacked out, suggest immediate promotion.'

"It's good luck."

"I'm ready for my closeup, Mr. DeMille."

'The last thing he said was 'I'm going to go look up the work 'Dictionary' in the dictionary,' and then the universe kind of collapsed around him,'

"Are you talking to amoeba?"