Paradox Fan Gifts

"Drunk, yet orderly"

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

'They all laughed when I told them that I was going to marry a magician.'

Sock Puppet in Literature

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

Spam in Hell.

"Believe me when I tell you that I'm not that honest."

'I use the clones to help prevent identity theft.'

I see the Boris moon arising. . .

The Second Fall of Man.r

"The central digital platform is temporarily renamed Project Schrödinger’s Cat. Until it is accessed on the 24th February it both is and is not a working system."

"So, how's your other half?"

"Are you sure? It doesn't look like a diet pill!"

"I know I say it in every episode, Carson, but the world is changing and we have to change with it."

Lawyers On A Plane.

'It began as The Great American Novel...but it finally sold as an infomercial.'

"When you order your dictator from Temu"

Unpopular Street Signs: Go, Please Litter, Yes Parking, Garbage Collection - Sometimes Never - Mon-Fri.

Old Yarns

The Sedentary Dead.

Gym/Tan/Donut

'I have a twitter account to slag off my facebook friends and I use facebook to insult my followers on twitter.'

Bird flu parody of Monty Python's 'Dead parrot sketch'.

'It looks like Mel Brooks is at it again.'

'You're not fooling anybody but yourself.'

Atomic Bear: Part 10

Pythagoras' Arbitration Service. He's very good. He always finds the shortest distance between two sides.

'He was one of the finest illusionists I was ever privileged to see.'

"I'm ready for my closeup, Mr. DeMille."

U.S. Male - Part Five

'Applicant wacked out, suggest immediate promotion.'

I've got a problem – with me. Counseling costs extra. I always hated BMW owners. But one day I woke up and realized I drive a Saab. People who vacation in the Hamptons give me hives, but I've got a summer spot in Santa Cruz. I protested against big corporate oil companies … wearing a North Face jacket and Nike high tops! Don't you realize what I've become? I'm an upwardly mobile hippy! Death to the huppy. Hates fancy coffee drinks, loves soy milk.

"It's good luck."

'The last thing he said was 'I'm going to go look up the work 'Dictionary' in the dictionary,' and then the universe kind of collapsed around him,'