Paradox Admirer Gifts

I just realized I'm living in a fool's paradise. This is one of the happiest days of my life!

Agnostic Prophecy.

"Think outside the box but never forget who owns the box."

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

"Wait a sec, I have a coupon around here somewhere."

"Drunk, yet orderly"

"Koalas when no one's looking"

An old-time engineer enters the cockpit on a flight.

"Then, after college, I joined the navy. Wait, I think I hear him coming."

"I just need help getting the pit out."

"He's very disciplined about his writing, every morning he stares at the keyboard for at least 4 hours before he allows himself a cup of tea!"

The Physiciatrist...

Magic Tricks

"Cat-astrophic Trifecta" "I pooped in Mona's Jimmy Choo handbag." "I knocked over grampa's ashes." "I buried a Barbie in the litter box."

"Believe me when I tell you that I'm not that honest."

Pyramid builders make the Statue of Liberty.

"Police, this is the wife of Magi the magician, something's happened to him!"

"The central digital platform is temporarily renamed Project Schrödinger’s Cat. Until it is accessed on the 24th February it both is and is not a working system."

'A penny saved is another thing for you to knock off the dresser.'

"There's nothing magical about if, actually I just have a knack for this sort of thing."

There's a lot of crying out there! Looks like we were gnawing on the internet cable...

"I didn't say he was 'house broken' I said he was a 'house breaker'"

Magician Playing Golf.

"Is there a rabbit in the house?"

Paul Daniels.

Alligator Bars

'It began as The Great American Novel...but it finally sold as an infomercial.'

Bumper Limos

'So what else do you hyptnotise apart from rabbits?'

The Meaning of Life

"Apparently, if you understand it, you don’t understand it."

Why the Egyptians stopped building the pyramids.

A Sculptor chiselling out 'The Invisible Man' from a block of stone.

Magician hitting someone while performing a trick.

"Looks like there was a mix-up. Apparently the tank we ordered went to Vinny's Joke Shop in Hoboken, New Jersey."