Paradox Enthusiast Gifts

National Paradox Foundation: We're closed come in.

'The last thing he said was 'I'm going to go look up the work 'Dictionary' in the dictionary,' and then the universe kind of collapsed around him,'

'I know one never knows, but I don't know how one knows that.'

"I'm also a life coach..."

'You're not fooling anybody but yourself.'

Book now for the time traveller's convention to be held here last week.

"I want you to enhance long term growth while maximising short term profit. Oh, and while you're at it, turn this chunk of lead into gold."

"Think outside the box but never forget who owns the box."

"Drunk, yet orderly"

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

Optimist

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

The Physiciatrist...

WANTED Dead or Alive - Schrodinger's Cat.

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

Schrödinger and his cat

"Believe me when I tell you that I'm not that honest."

"I have good news and bad news about your cat, Dr Schrodinger..."

"What's important is that we learn from what we must never admit happened."

Another Time Travel Pair o' Ducks.

"Most people forget they've had amnesia."

Sharing the Bed with Zeno

"Oh my God, help! Is there a logician on board?!"

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

'Massive unpredictability is absolutely certain, maybe.'

Two guns are pointing at each other in a peace sign.

"The central digital platform is temporarily renamed Project Schrödinger’s Cat. Until it is accessed on the 24th February it both is and is not a working system."

'Under new business, is anyone wearing a wire?'

Energy Conservation Be Damned. Fred constantly prepared for Global Warming and Nuclear Winter to happen at the same time.

Inventing Time Travel

"If it's stupid but works, it isn't stupid."

"Apparently, if you understand it, you don’t understand it."

307 days without an accident.