Paranoia Pundits Pillows

"Hypochondriac's Handbook. Where was I?"

'Really, a foreign wine? What will the NSA think?'

'Don't worry -- I'll soon knock that paranoia out of you!'

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

Skeptic Tank.

The Government's Got Your Back. And Wants Your Front As Well.

No Immediate Danger

"A Bill of Rights? - Don't you TRUST me?"

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

"You dropped yer wallet."

"Tell me why you think people are out to get you."

"Says, property of the I.R.S."

National Living Wage from April 1st.

'Bedtime stories at the Browns'.'

"Is this as good a bad time as any other bad time you've experienced?"

Prepper Dog

"It's Eden. You don't have to keep checking for ticks."

"Oh no, not another pandemic!"

'Under new business, is anyone wearing a wire?'

"Fill out all these highly intrusive forms...we can't wait!"

We can safely tell the Grand Jury your campaign money isn't soft, it's al dente.

'I can't shake off this feeling we're being watched.'

New Year 2020

'I checked my symptoms on the internet and I think I might be dead!'

'Do you get the feeling we're being watched?'

"I'm not concerned about us as long as there is nothing in the stimulus package for cats."

Cat holds sign that says 'come over here', dog holds a sign that says 'how?'

Big Bubba Is Watching You!

'I keep thinking I'm being watched...'

"It's great things are back to normal, except that there are people everywhere."

'The trouble is not with your set -- the station just got hit with a new batch of politically correct Federal regulations.'

Caterpillar Paranoia

'I can feel it, Henderson - Someone out there is up to no good.'

'Talk about paranoid. He reads the fine print on his money.'