Paranoid Pundit Pillows

The Government's Got Your Back. And Wants Your Front As Well.

'Your videotape's intriguing - But it still doesn't prove that they really exist.'

No Immediate Danger

Neuro, Biology, Chemistry, Feedback, Psychology, Technology, Physiology Institute

"Suppose you tell me why you want to be a faceless drone at Globatron Inc.?"

"Says, property of the I.R.S."

'Why is it always about me?'

Conspiracy Cat

"Fill out all these highly intrusive forms...we can't wait!"

Hypochodriac worrying about his heart.

'Never roll your eyes while the boss is talking.'

'I checked my symptoms on the internet and I think I might be dead!'

"Prospectus in not spelt P...R...O...A...G...A...N...D...A."

"You never call, and the federal government will back me up on that."

Big Bubba Is Watching You!

"Once you've jumped over the moon, standing around in a field all day just doesn't cut it."

'The computer can talk to terminals all over the country. Bentley thinks it's talking about him.'

Follow England mate, they're always crap!

"And that was the news. . . But please feel free to go online and vent your spite, spread your conspiracy theories and promote your ill-informed opinions. . ."

"In view of climate change, I'd put all my money into ice cream, mineral water and weapons!"

"You're not fooling me. I can spot 'fake mews'."

"Welcome to the neighbourhood. I hope you like savory pies."

'Ever get the feeling that you're being watched?'

'You're doing the crop circles anyway. We just want to pay you to do them with our corporate logo.'

"Technically, when the manufacturer wants your car back, it's a recall. When the bank does it, it's a repossession."

The Hypochondria Times.

'Really, a foreign wine? What will the NSA think?'

'This mindless blather is edited for TV.'

'Relax, we've only been for a pint.'

"Don't feel bad. Shallow people make my job easy."

Big government pig

That'll be �57.50, Potter.

"These are my 'Nebraska attack poodles'. They don't bark, they don't bite, they just do exactly what they're told. . ."

"The pound is reaching parity with Liz Truss."