Satirical Pundit Pillows

How I Learned to Love the Drone Bomb

"The pound is reaching parity with Liz Truss."

Something's wrong with the economy. What tipped you off, Hoss? There's no route to the middle class. I'm stuck in the service industry. My upward mobility ends at cafe manager. Whoa. I don't have a lot of time for you to be waking up to your circumstances. Is there a better time for me to have a whole life's reckoning? I'm free most of June.

"Suppose you tell me why you want to be a faceless drone at Globatron Inc.?"

'I was looking for something more Condi Rice than Donald Rumsfeld.'

Introspect: The Only 100% Self-Absorbed Paper Towel!

"In view of climate change, I'd put all my money into ice cream, mineral water and weapons!"

Universal Credits Computer: Kaput

"Only three out of 16 million people may die from the side effects of this vaccine. My Jack was one of them."

"These are my 'Nebraska attack poodles'. They don't bark, they don't bite, they just do exactly what they're told. . ."

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

In the Guru District

They're Not Just That Into It

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

CEO du Jour

Difference of Opinion

"We're suing you under equal opportunities legislation for failure to represent our rights"

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

Library - Political Science section - 'What to do until the spin doctor comes'

'I look forward to a bigger and bolder vision in my 2nd term.'

"Whoever made Keir Starmer did a sound professional job."

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

Where does it all end up?

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

"Mom, I'm bored. Do you know something I can get hysterical and panicky about?"

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

Obama Healthcare.

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

"As I see it, 'Crazy politics' - like not voting on a supreme court nominee - is better than a complete government shutdown."

'It's cheaper than gas.'

"Still Undecided Political Blocs"