Pain Tolerance Expert Gifts

'Okay, where's your chair?' - 'I've decided to squat for 8 hours a day to build my thighs.' - 'Won't that hurt?' - 'Fortunately, I've developed a massive pain tolerance by sitting opposite you for so long.'

'A representative will be with you in twelve minutes... so, if you have to go to the bathroom, please go now...'

"We can give you enough medication to alleviate the pain, but not enough to make it fun."

Tonight: Al Hari Kish, leading yoga expert, speaks on 'this topsy-turvy world'

'Ok, there's some duct tape. Are you happy now, Mr. Prima Donna?...'

"I don't prescribe opioids, but feel free to grab a CBD-laced lollipop on your way out."

"Today we practiced counting to five, and the teacher practiced counting to ten."

"Any pain relief with the cannabis?"

"Of course, I would suggest a shot of novacaine."

"Why does every disaster movie start with the government ignoring a scientist? Like that would ever happen."

"...Ouch...Ouch...Ouch...Ouch..."

'But toothache is the worst!'

"Where does it hurt?"

Waiting room scene and signs that say 'Dr. Ooze's Clinic - As seen on TV.'

'This is going to be a level three.'

'The Novocain seems to have kicked in,'

'This won't hurt.'

"Welcome to the Department of Delayed Gratification. Take a number."

'You've stayed on hold for 20 minutes? Oh, dear! You'd better make an appointment with Dr. Willems to work on your self-esteem.'

A man hugs a heart-shaped cactus

"Good. . . evening. . . welcome . . . to . . . the. . . slow. . . cooker. . ."

I don't let the dentist use painkillers. I transcend dental medication.

"I heard you have a really bad toothache." "Meh. Not anymore." "‘Meh’?" "I got bored of that, so I just moved on." "Amazing." "‘Mindless over matter’" "Bored of this phone."

'Ooh, that's better!'

'Sorry, he's away and won't be back for a week.'

'Does it hurt when I do this...?'

Thank you for not smacking

"I'm still waiting for my coffee. Has Juan Valdez left South America yet?"

'If it starts to hurt, just wiggle your ears.'

'You don't know anything about waiting.'

Tattoo shop - "How may I hurt you?"

'Same time next week then?'

'If I strike a nerve, just blink your left eye, there's a good chap.'

'And I got this one for years of listening to him talk about all the medals he's won.'

"I'd rather have a baby than have my tooth pulled."