Pain Management Specialist Gifts

"Any pain relief with the cannabis?"

'I can't control my anger when people get too close to my kids...'

"It's just a hunch, but you spend a lot time at your computer, don't you?"

"FYI that the novocaine will numb the pain caused by the drill but won’t help with the pain caused by the overhead adult contemporary music."

"You dumb clod! Do you realize you're almost two minutes late?"

'Tape it up real tight, Floyd ... and the other ankle too.'

'Underpaid, overworked, stressed and sick of criticism...still enough of my problems do you still need the toilet?'

"You don't need a doctor to look at your throat, you need a CHOIRPRACTOR."

'It didn't hurt at all. You gave it to my teddy bear.'

"I don't prescribe opioids, but feel free to grab a CBD-laced lollipop on your way out."

'Right! That's bloody it! I'm calling for the wife-whisperer.'

Hazard of texting

'Once he stopped sticking me with needles, I felt great!'

'Hello Mr Jones, I'm the Bone Specialist.'

"Where does it hurt?"

The Dawn of Paleontology: "I think I knew this guy."

"I don't like lying to my husband so I need something to give me a headache."

'This is going to be a level three.'

'This won't hurt.'

'The floods, the pestilence, the plagues...don't you think you could find more constructive ways to express your wrath?'

A man hugs a heart-shaped cactus

"I heard you have a really bad toothache." "Meh. Not anymore." "‘Meh’?" "I got bored of that, so I just moved on." "Amazing." "‘Mindless over matter’" "Bored of this phone."

I don't let the dentist use painkillers. I transcend dental medication.

Osteologist

'Does it hurt when I do this...?'

'Yeeeooouchhhhh...' (Carpal Tunnel)

"Relax, release and let go...."

"There he goes, against the advice of his back specialist."

'If it starts to hurt, just wiggle your ears.'

'The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his ***** dates at this ***** stage which fits in with the 'Management change' consultant who said....'

The frustration of a nagging injury.

'My chiropractor has made me feel so good, I thought it was time I got rid of my pills.'

'Okay, where's your chair?' - 'I've decided to squat for 8 hours a day to build my thighs.' - 'Won't that hurt?' - 'Fortunately, I've developed a massive pain tolerance by sitting opposite you for so long.'

Man getting a tooth pulled out.

"I teach anger management. It's all the rage."