Pain Management Enthusiast Gifts

"I don't prescribe opioids, but feel free to grab a CBD-laced lollipop on your way out."

'Does it hurt when I do this...?'

'So what'll it be; novocain or profanity?'

'You got a good offer to endorse a new painkiller.'

"We can give you enough medication to alleviate the pain, but not enough to make it fun."

'It's a beautiful lighthouse. However, hauling the batteries up the stairs has taken its toll on my back.'

"FYI that the novocaine will numb the pain caused by the drill but won’t help with the pain caused by the overhead adult contemporary music."

'I've got an appointment with Mr. Payne.' - 'He'll see you now.' - 'Okay, take a deep br-' - 'Gah!' - 'Great, now turn ov-' - 'Argh!' - 'And a final tw-' - 'Mummy!' - '*Sob*' - 'Okay, all done.' - 'Did you, by any chance...' - '...hear you crying...'

Slept on the plane and now in horrible pain?

"Any pain relief with the cannabis?"

"Of course, I would suggest a shot of novacaine."

'Once he stopped sticking me with needles, I felt great!'

"Where does it hurt?"

'I got to sit down. I feel a pain in my lower back coming on.'

'I have stomach cramps.' - 'Oh.' - 'It feels like a cat raking its claws down the inside of my stomach.' - 'Oh.' - 'Raking in a good way or a bad way?' -

'This is going to be a level three.'

'This won't hurt.'

"I'd kill for 500 milligrams of naproxen."

A man hugs a heart-shaped cactus

Ugh! I hate shots! The Dodos.

I don't let the dentist use painkillers. I transcend dental medication.

"I heard you have a really bad toothache." "Meh. Not anymore." "‘Meh’?" "I got bored of that, so I just moved on." "Amazing." "‘Mindless over matter’" "Bored of this phone."

'Ooh, that's better!'

'Yeeeooouchhhhh...' (Carpal Tunnel)

'We hope you don't mind, David is particular about his lumbar support.'

'If it starts to hurt, just wiggle your ears.'

The frustration of a nagging injury.

'My chiropractor has made me feel so good, I thought it was time I got rid of my pills.'

The Chiropractor - 'I've been looking forward to this all week!'

Man getting a tooth pulled out.

'Bad back!'

"With 1 being the lowest, and 10 being the highest, could you rate the pain of your headache?"

'Back pain? The beef stew is just laced with analgesics.'

'This won't hurt, honest.'

Volunteers discuss pains