Pain Management Guru Gifts

"I think I'll be late back for tea. . . about a week."

"Three weeks until the pitch, LOADS of time!"

"Good morning Rudy. I suppose you're wondering why I've summond you....It's time for your annual performance review...."

"I've got a strict work/life policy at work... Anyone who has a life doesn't work anymore!"

'That's my 'job security' barometer.'

"Jerry's blood pressure jumped to a six month high on News of the dollar's weakness."

White flag being waved around bosses door.

"We can give you enough medication to alleviate the pain, but not enough to make it fun."

"It's bad. He's not even responding to my emails."

'The trouble with success is that the formula is the same for a nervous breakdown.'

'It's a beautiful lighthouse. However, hauling the batteries up the stairs has taken its toll on my back.'

"When the doctor said you should get a pet for lockdown I think he meant a cat!"

Grok's Thought Stopping.

'I don't suppose I need to remind anyone that when I use the term 'bite the bullet,' I mean it metaphorically.'

Pre-vacation-burn-out radiology reports.

'My best method for relieving stress is to misplace my cellphone.'

'I see Phelps is back from that stress reduction seminar.'

'Mr Godzilla - you need anger management!'

"It's a new take on the whole work/life balance thing. . . Anybody who has a life needs to be given more work."

'I hear they've named a new stress syndrome after me.'

IN, IN OVER MY HEAD

'You're lucky. At least you know your troubles aren't psychosomatic!'

"Am I worried about going belly-up? Well, I can't get my fingers uncrossed and I sleep face down."

"Okay, I'll change your diaper, but you better not tell any of my patients."

"FYI that the novocaine will numb the pain caused by the drill but won’t help with the pain caused by the overhead adult contemporary music."

'I've got an appointment with Mr. Payne.' - 'He'll see you now.' - 'Okay, take a deep br-' - 'Gah!' - 'Great, now turn ov-' - 'Argh!' - 'And a final tw-' - 'Mummy!' - '*Sob*' - 'Okay, all done.' - 'Did you, by any chance...' - '...hear you crying...'

'I don't know what to do about my check - grief or anger counseling.'

"In conclusion, how do you feel your interview went?"

"We don't send statements - they cause too many heart attacks."

"I don't prescribe opioids, but feel free to grab a CBD-laced lollipop on your way out."

"What's this I hear about you not having an ulcer?"

Costs and Blood Pressure

"In the light of recent cutbacks we've had to slightly lengthen your job description."

Mel puts on his best friend's thunder vest, crawls into a bathtub and tries to keep it together while democracy explodes all around him.