Pain Management Gifts

"I don't prescribe opioids, but feel free to grab a CBD-laced lollipop on your way out."

'My chiropractor has made me feel so good, I thought it was time I got rid of my pills.'

The frustration of a nagging injury.

'Once he stopped sticking me with needles, I felt great!'

I don't let the dentist use painkillers. I transcend dental medication.

"I heard you have a really bad toothache." "Meh. Not anymore." "‘Meh’?" "I got bored of that, so I just moved on." "Amazing." "‘Mindless over matter’" "Bored of this phone."

"Any pain relief with the cannabis?"

Secretive Weigh In.

"FYI that the novocaine will numb the pain caused by the drill but won’t help with the pain caused by the overhead adult contemporary music."

Slept on the plane and now in horrible pain?

"Of course, I would suggest a shot of novacaine."

"Where does it hurt?"

"Did someone eat my edamame ice pack?!"

'I got to sit down. I feel a pain in my lower back coming on.'

'This is going to be a level three.'

'This won't hurt.'

A man hugs a heart-shaped cactus

Ugh! I hate shots! The Dodos.

'Ooh, that's better!'

'Does it hurt when I do this...?'

'Yeeeooouchhhhh...' (Carpal Tunnel)

'If it starts to hurt, just wiggle your ears.'

'Okay, where's your chair?' - 'I've decided to squat for 8 hours a day to build my thighs.' - 'Won't that hurt?' - 'Fortunately, I've developed a massive pain tolerance by sitting opposite you for so long.'

Man getting a tooth pulled out.

'Back pain? The beef stew is just laced with analgesics.'

'Does it hurt when I do this?'

'Let's skip the anesthetic. I study yoga so I think I can transcend-dental-medication.'

'So what'll it be; novocain or profanity?'

'This won't hurt, honest.'

"We take Carpal Tunnel Syndrome very seriously around here, young lady! You write checks for your treatment with that hand!"

'You got a good offer to endorse a new painkiller.'

Old woman dancing with a hot water bottle on her back to relieve back pain.