Pain Management Connoisseur Gifts

'Back pain? The beef stew is just laced with analgesics.'

"We can give you enough medication to alleviate the pain, but not enough to make it fun."

'It's a beautiful lighthouse. However, hauling the batteries up the stairs has taken its toll on my back.'

"FYI that the novocaine will numb the pain caused by the drill but won’t help with the pain caused by the overhead adult contemporary music."

'I've got an appointment with Mr. Payne.' - 'He'll see you now.' - 'Okay, take a deep br-' - 'Gah!' - 'Great, now turn ov-' - 'Argh!' - 'And a final tw-' - 'Mummy!' - '*Sob*' - 'Okay, all done.' - 'Did you, by any chance...' - '...hear you crying...'

"I don't prescribe opioids, but feel free to grab a CBD-laced lollipop on your way out."

Slept on the plane and now in horrible pain?

"Any pain relief with the cannabis?"

"Of course, I would suggest a shot of novacaine."

'Once he stopped sticking me with needles, I felt great!'

"Where does it hurt?"

'I got to sit down. I feel a pain in my lower back coming on.'

'I have stomach cramps.' - 'Oh.' - 'It feels like a cat raking its claws down the inside of my stomach.' - 'Oh.' - 'Raking in a good way or a bad way?' -

'This is going to be a level three.'

'This won't hurt.'

Ugh! I hate shots! The Dodos.

I don't let the dentist use painkillers. I transcend dental medication.

"I heard you have a really bad toothache." "Meh. Not anymore." "‘Meh’?" "I got bored of that, so I just moved on." "Amazing." "‘Mindless over matter’" "Bored of this phone."

A man hugs a heart-shaped cactus

'Ooh, that's better!'

'Does it hurt when I do this...?'

'Yeeeooouchhhhh...' (Carpal Tunnel)

Dentist.

'If it starts to hurt, just wiggle your ears.'

The frustration of a nagging injury.

'My chiropractor has made me feel so good, I thought it was time I got rid of my pills.'

'Maybe you should slow down.'

Man getting a tooth pulled out.

'Okay, where's your chair?' - 'I've decided to squat for 8 hours a day to build my thighs.' - 'Won't that hurt?' - 'Fortunately, I've developed a massive pain tolerance by sitting opposite you for so long.'

'What've you got for a headache?'

"Mr Smith next door sent me. He wants to come around to watch the boxing tonight, but he's not happy with the picture on your new 50 inch T.V."

'So what'll it be; novocain or profanity?'

'This won't hurt, honest.'

Volunteers discuss pains

"We take Carpal Tunnel Syndrome very seriously around here, young lady! You write checks for your treatment with that hand!"