Pain Reliever Connoisseur Gifts

'What've you got for a headache?'

Bookworm Sleepover

'A problem with the Phase II trials. Everyone - all the people - was given the placebo, and no one got the drug.'

"This seat with extra legroom is great."

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

"They remove people who have become 'jammed in armchairs' due to COVID 19 lockdown!"

'Idle' Home Exhibition

'What's wrong with him?' - 'He drank a glass of water by mistake.'

Man frozen in portrait pose.

Pet owner pours out contents of treats for dog that are oddly shaped. Box titled: 'Funny Bones'.

Second aid

"Shoulda brought the weed."

"They've got insulation to die for!"

Moliere

"CBD… oil… CBD… oil…"

"... with a side of brown rice, right. And can the delivery guy stop at the pharmacy and pick up my prescription?"

Charles Dickens.

"You're stealing the blanket."

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

"Don’t call the fire department — this is the most relaxed I’ve felt in years."

Bleak House

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

'You can't charm me out of this chair.'

"Wow! You need professional help."

"I swear, you won't be able to tell the difference, plus, turkey eye of newt is much healthier for you."

Great Joys like griefs are silent.

"What's this Artificial newt's tail? Instant toad urine? No wonder your spells suck!"

'You're right, Mr, Haskins, those were extremely 'normal' word associations. Now let's try it without the thesaurus.'

The 'I'm Almost Finished With War And Peace' Bookmark

Maids At Home.

'Never stand when you can sit. Never sit when you can lie down.'

"Of course, I would suggest a shot of novacaine."

Sergei Rachmaninov

When feud becomes best seller! Moby Dick vs Herman Melville!