Pain Enthusiasts Gifts

'This is going to be a level three.'

'I'm wrapping it tightly to keep the ankle from swelling.'

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'It's a beautiful lighthouse. However, hauling the batteries up the stairs has taken its toll on my back.'

"I love this comedy. What's it called?"

"The roof is old and leaks. The good news is when it rains you'll get an additional 3 showers."

St John's ambulance member "I prefer rugby myself, more blood shed"

'I've got an appointment with Mr. Payne.' - 'He'll see you now.' - 'Okay, take a deep br-' - 'Gah!' - 'Great, now turn ov-' - 'Argh!' - 'And a final tw-' - 'Mummy!' - '*Sob*' - 'Okay, all done.' - 'Did you, by any chance...' - '...hear you crying...'

"You've been traded to the Red Sox for an outfielder with a broken arm."

'Very funny!'

'I think this fishing injury is more serious than you're letting on!'

"I don't prescribe opioids, but feel free to grab a CBD-laced lollipop on your way out."

Slept on the plane and now in horrible pain?

'My God! Isn't rain wonderful?'

"Of course, I would suggest a shot of novacaine."

"I think he stood on a nettle."

'I have stomach cramps.' - 'Oh.' - 'It feels like a cat raking its claws down the inside of my stomach.' - 'Oh.' - 'Raking in a good way or a bad way?' -

"Where does it hurt?"

'Why should I pay you for washing the windows when the good Lord provides?'

A man hugs a heart-shaped cactus

"I'd kill for 500 milligrams of naproxen."

Ugh! I hate shots! The Dodos.

'Ooh, that's better!'

'Does it hurt when I do this...?'

"Does your tooth still hurt?"

'I suggest you refrain from reaching into your untamed bird's cage in the future.'

Oooh, where'd you get that bruise?

Dentist.

Rate your pain...

'This is going to be a level three.'

'You can say, 'I tore a ligament' or 'I blew out my knee.' But in this league you never, ever say, 'I got a boo-boo.''

The Chiropractor - 'I've been looking forward to this all week!'

Masochists' Investment Club - today's topic: 'no pain, no gain'.

Where chiropractors go on holiday

"It would be easier to tell you what doesn't hurt."