Pain Tolerance Expert Pillows

'Okay, where's your chair?' - 'I've decided to squat for 8 hours a day to build my thighs.' - 'Won't that hurt?' - 'Fortunately, I've developed a massive pain tolerance by sitting opposite you for so long.'

'A representative will be with you in twelve minutes... so, if you have to go to the bathroom, please go now...'

"We can give you enough medication to alleviate the pain, but not enough to make it fun."

Tonight: Al Hari Kish, leading yoga expert, speaks on 'this topsy-turvy world'

'Ok, there's some duct tape. Are you happy now, Mr. Prima Donna?...'

"I don't prescribe opioids, but feel free to grab a CBD-laced lollipop on your way out."

"Any pain relief with the cannabis?"

"Today we practiced counting to five, and the teacher practiced counting to ten."

"Of course, I would suggest a shot of novacaine."

"Why does every disaster movie start with the government ignoring a scientist? Like that would ever happen."

"...Ouch...Ouch...Ouch...Ouch..."

'But toothache is the worst!'

"Where does it hurt?"

'This is going to be a level three.'

'This won't hurt.'

"Welcome to the Department of Delayed Gratification. Take a number."

"Good. . . evening. . . welcome . . . to . . . the. . . slow. . . cooker. . ."

"I heard you have a really bad toothache." "Meh. Not anymore." "‘Meh’?" "I got bored of that, so I just moved on." "Amazing." "‘Mindless over matter’" "Bored of this phone."

A man hugs a heart-shaped cactus

'You've stayed on hold for 20 minutes? Oh, dear! You'd better make an appointment with Dr. Willems to work on your self-esteem.'

'Does it hurt when I do this...?'

'Sorry, he's away and won't be back for a week.'

Thank you for not smacking

'You don't know anything about waiting.'

'If it starts to hurt, just wiggle your ears.'

"I'm still waiting for my coffee. Has Juan Valdez left South America yet?"

Tattoo shop - "How may I hurt you?"

'Same time next week then?'

'If I strike a nerve, just blink your left eye, there's a good chap.'

"This might take a while."