Overqualification Ponderer Gifts

'It's true that a college degree might render you overqualified for your present position, but it's a chance I'd take.'

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

"Still, he might be remembered as the 'no cloning' President."

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

"Today we'll examine that age old question of robot accomplishment: programming or processor?"

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

'Retirement is OK, but instead of looking forword to weekends, I'm working at McDonalds.'

'In this next precedent, an attorney lost his frivolous lawsuit complaint and his opponent then filed a frivolous 'frivolous lawsuit' lawsuit.'

'In other words, statistics prove that statisticians aren't always right.'

'When bad 401ks happen to good people'

Passing the Pension Time Bomb

"The first thing we should do is get you two into a good mutual fund. Let me get out the 'Magic 8 Ball' and we'll fun some options."

Star Trek-the Older Generation. . .

Bizarre sequence of computer-generated random numbers

'What's the chance of getting a latte around here?'

"Woah - random!"

Retirement Issues

'Turn your thinking cap around, Robert.'

"I'm the ghost of your future retirement."

'Today's Odds' sign above a copier showing various odds for machine's malfunctions

'Have you found a precedent? Yes, you did the same crime in 1974.'

Market Research - "I'm trying to remember to pick up a loaf of bread, but there's a 38% probability that I'll forget."

"The real trick will be enjoying retirement long enough before the Government goes belly up."

'I re-invested what was left of my 401K into returnable pop cans. I figure by the time I retire I should have about three dollars.'

"Caution! Now entering the margin of error."

'Sorry I can't pay your pension until I see gray hair. . . Oh yes, and you also get disability.'

'Not as easy as it looks?"

"My inner child just turned 62. Where's his money?"

'Do you ever wonder about this whole 'money' thing?'

-You need a permit to fish here. -I'm doing okay with a worm, thank you

"Walter Thruggins, My Life as a Pensions Adviser."