Overqualification Ponderer Pillows

'It's true that a college degree might render you overqualified for your present position, but it's a chance I'd take.'

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

"Still, he might be remembered as the 'no cloning' President."

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

"Today we'll examine that age old question of robot accomplishment: programming or processor?"

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

'In this next precedent, an attorney lost his frivolous lawsuit complaint and his opponent then filed a frivolous 'frivolous lawsuit' lawsuit.'

'In other words, statistics prove that statisticians aren't always right.'

'When bad 401ks happen to good people'

Passing the Pension Time Bomb

Bizarre sequence of computer-generated random numbers

"The first thing we should do is get you two into a good mutual fund. Let me get out the 'Magic 8 Ball' and we'll fun some options."

'What's the chance of getting a latte around here?'

"I'm the ghost of your future retirement."

'Turn your thinking cap around, Robert.'

"Woah - random!"

Retirement Issues

'Today's Odds' sign above a copier showing various odds for machine's malfunctions

'Have you found a precedent? Yes, you did the same crime in 1974.'

Market Research - "I'm trying to remember to pick up a loaf of bread, but there's a 38% probability that I'll forget."

"The real trick will be enjoying retirement long enough before the Government goes belly up."

'I re-invested what was left of my 401K into returnable pop cans. I figure by the time I retire I should have about three dollars.'

-You need a permit to fish here. -I'm doing okay with a worm, thank you

"Caution! Now entering the margin of error."

'Do you ever wonder about this whole 'money' thing?'

'Sorry I can't pay your pension until I see gray hair. . . Oh yes, and you also get disability.'

'Not as easy as it looks?"

"My inner child just turned 62. Where's his money?"

"Walter Thruggins, My Life as a Pensions Adviser."

'I proved that when you start to count your blessings, you find that they're infinite.'