Over-the-top Gifters Pillows

'Get real, Dad, I wanted a TOY dumptruck.'

Emergency Phone.

'Take my tip,sonny and say it with jelly babies.'

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

'They're dog roses!'

"Here's the baby's first birthday, her second, her third, look at her gifts..."

'Oh, we have an excellent benefits package ??" major medical, dental plan, vacation, retirement, nude encounter sessions....'

'Thanks mum, it's just what I always wanted!'

Tipping Pain Chart

"Remember when we talked about how you send mixed messages. . ."

'I gotta bad feeling about this.'

"And another thing, it's real cool in the summer!"

'Hand these out to the workforce.'

"The Valentine's Day gift that has it all - a card made from edible flowers dipped in chocolate!"

"So, with internet shopping and guaranteed next-day delivery, I figured now was as good a time as any to hang my sack up and retire."

Rent-a-Drama: "How many tweens will you need for your event?"

Sorry about the odor --- Phone booths have gone out of style so I had to change in a dumpster.

A sheep, a humming bird and a beetle - 'Baa, hum, bug'

'Come on...no one would be dumb enough to buy those in a million years!'

"Once again Igor is sent out for a brain and once again he brings back the wrong one. This time he returns with the brain of Libby 'Lipsticks' Harris the world kiss chase champion."

inflation at Christmas

Acme Coffee Co.

"Yes, Doreen, I think I am capable of unconditional love."

"I want to get him something for Christmas he's never had before."

Hand Sanitiser in the Middle of the Ocean

Why T-Rex Did Not Go Noodling

Last-Minute Gifts

Missing sock announcement on a milk carton.

Roo felt a little cheated with his new Christmas present.

'. . . we should never have asked mummy what she really wanted for mother's day.'

'I hope you like it -- it's a stimulus package.'

"I have no idea why there has been zero company this year, but, hello, BEST holiday ever!"

"Happy birthday!"

Man with an umbrella hat looks at man with a hat umbrella.

"Well? Try them out!"