Over-the-top Gifter Pillows

"Here's the baby's first birthday, her second, her third, look at her gifts..."

'They're dog roses!'

"Gift"

'Thanks mum, it's just what I always wanted!'

"Remember when we talked about how you send mixed messages. . ."

"A cactus! Darling, you're such a romantic..."

"The Valentine's Day gift that has it all - a card made from edible flowers dipped in chocolate!"

Bagel problems.

"Sayyy - you've had some work done!"

That's what I hate about sole proprietorship. On Boss's Day, nobody gives me a gift.

"Gold ... Frankincense ... Myrrh ... why wouldn't wise men bring diapers?"

inflation at Christmas

'Re-gifting has become socially acceptable, dear, but re-carding is going a little too far.'

Last-Minute Gifts

Make Your Own

Say it with cacti

"I'm not sure. Maybe it's my wife's butt size I'm thinking of!"

"I want to get him something for Christmas he's never had before."

Roo felt a little cheated with his new Christmas present.

'So there I was, alone in the aisle, heart pounding, without a bloody clue as to what wine I should bring our hosts.'

"Happy birthday!"

While Santa's Hybrid Sled has made environmentalists and animal rights activists happy, there isn't much room left for toys.

"We couldn't have given her a BETTER birthday present, Agatha!"

'No, I won't pay $200 for a silk top hat for your snowman!'

"I have no idea why there has been zero company this year, but, hello, BEST holiday ever!"

"It's my Dad's Birthday. Could you gift wrap it?"

"The other gangs can give you protection. We can give you free wi-fi."

'I'm glad out parents aren't hung up about not spoiling us.'

'I try to keep the Christmas Spirit all year long, but usually run out of money in March.'

Santa with a mobile made from presents.

"I got a watch of sorts when I retired...they gave me the old security camera I sat beneath for 20 years."

Two Christmas Stockings - One for Presents, One for Receipts

"I took the liberty of buying myself a Father's Day gift."