Tech-savvy Gifters Pillows

"So, with internet shopping and guaranteed next-day delivery, I figured now was as good a time as any to hang my sack up and retire."

"This year Amazon will handle my deliveries."

'Who said romance is dead? I just downloaded a screensaver with red roses and chocolates for your PC!'

Tipping Pain Chart

Electric powered sleigh with wrong fitting.

"And another thing, it's real cool in the summer!"

A sheep, a humming bird and a beetle - 'Baa, hum, bug'

Acme Coffee Co.

"For Christmas you got me a roll of wrapping paper? And you wrapped it?"

"Okay, I got your stuff ordered. I work remotely now."

"Press these flowers into a scanner and e-mail them to my wife please, Monique"

'Your call is important to us. Santa no longer accepts letters. Please email all requests to: letters@santa.com please state whether you've been good or bad. . .'

"Mom said to make sure you don't goof up shopping online."

"Okay Santa. It's time to quit cyber shopping for today!"

"Christ on a bike. Again. Again with the electric shaver."

Santa Claus's sled runs into satellite dish on a roof thus messing up the picture on a TV in the living room.

"The other gangs can give you protection. We can give you free wi-fi."

Santa Text Exchange

Gift Wrap Illusion

'I get stressed at Christmas time too, but it's not for the same reasons as you...'

Santa, tapping at mobile phone, turns away child saying: 'All Christmas lists must be 140 characters of fewer.'

The art of regifting

"I brought my wife a mink for her birthday, but she refuses to clean out its cage."

To donate text 'tramp' plus the amount to 88823.

"I'm going to find out who's [naughty emoji] and [nice emoji]."

"We spent a fortune on those gifts, and they couldn't even get us a card!"

"Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas!"

Santa deleting his e-mails.

The school has no money for supplies, so take out your cellphone and send a valentine ecard to your neighbor.

To Donate Please Go To My Website.

Virtual Christmas

'Get real, Dad, I wanted a TOY dumptruck.'

Charging Station

"I hired someone to take care of your mother's ugly gift. It will look like an accident - the guy is a pro!"

"Sorry I can't tell you what's on my wish list. I don't share my personal data."