Outdoor Chores Survivor Gifts

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

"I'd like a week off without any business related e-mail on my home computer."

Don't forget the hosepipe ban!

Yardless: Please help

'Dang it, I just washed this street. Boy, every time...'

'I was thinking-what if the tide's OUT?'

"You see, honey, no lousy coronavirus is gonna get to us way out here."

"We're a bit understaffed today, could you be 6 people?"

Running out of Gas.

"For years after Vietnam, I woke up screaming about the cold weather in Toronto."

"I #*#*#* hate gardening, I'd much rather be at work!!"

The World's best Camouflage Store.

"Before someone says anything, yes, it was a long winter."

Desert island has bottle bank and paper bank. Castaway sees message in bottle float towards island.

'Hey, Mom, you have a farmer's tan.'

"Help me! I'm trapped. In a dead end job."

A plunger in an outhouse

'That's great, Bob, but I was just going to ask if you wanted anything from the deli next door.'

"Did you forget to tell anyone to water the garden while we were away?"

"But....but....isn't that a puff of cloud I see approaching?"

"Leave your weekends open. I'll be dropping a lot more of these."

"I don't care if your ears are freezing. Get those covers off!"

"Judging by the survival gear, fishing pole and grill, I'm guessing he's an outdoor cat."

"Happy?"

HA HA

'I'll swear you've been willing that cloudburst on us . . !'

"Nothing better than a cosy brazer on a grim, wintry wind-blasted mountain top guard post."

'P.S. When finding this message please be sure to dispose of the bottle in a bona fide bottle bank.'

Shoveling Snow

"I just washed and waxed it. I don't want the birds messing it up!"

Why am I ironing at 2am? I wish I could just roll over and go to sleep!

"It's going to be in the forties today, Herb... A good day to scape the driveway, shovel off the roof, take down the Christmas lights..."

Extreme camouflage

'I don't like it either, but it IS brain food.'

You know it's a really bad winter when. . .