Garden Chore Survivor Gifts

The Gardener's Calendar: Start up the Engine

Kitchen Tetris

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

"Yes dear, you have worked very hard on the garden. Unfortunately though, you've put the compost on the weeds and the weed killer on my best roses."

'If I've calculated correctly, I have two more birthdays before I never have to mow the lawn again.'

Lawn mower - must get longer cable

'I HATE Spring cleaning!'

"Leave your weekends open. I'll be dropping a lot more of these."

When Accountants Rake Leaves

"A garden is a thing of beauty and a job for ever."

"Thank you, sir."

"The good news is I've cleaned up my office. The bad news is I think I threw out my computer."

Leaf Blower Showdown.

"I just washed and waxed it. I don't want the birds messing it up!"

Autumn Leaves

Unwanted Guests

"You call that a made bed?"

'Stop complaining - at least it keeps you out of the kitchen.'

'Why don't you use a leaf blower? It annoys the hell out of people.'

'If you want me, honey, I'll be out here in the orchard.'

Beware of unexploded fireworks when burning rubbish.

"I would be happy to help you with the dishes, Mom, but I'm afraid I'd get water in my phone."

'Just so you know, you're doin' it wrong.'

"Are you using the right size nail for mother's picture?"

'Since you're up there would you mind cleaning out the gutter, dear?'

"I've decided to eat healthy, so I'm growing a garden in my office. It also reduces the stress caused by working here."

Flying Elephant and Car Washer,

'Six: Grip steering wheel tightly.'

'I got the idea when I was blowing my leaves.'

'Well, at least your washing-up arm is alright!'

"I'm sorry, Dad. I can't do this. You always say I should prepare for the future...and last I checked, there's no college degree in 'dishwashing.'"

"I miss the house. I don't miss shovelling snow, mowing the lawn, trimming the hedge, vacuuming the pool?"

"Either you mow the lawn now, or I start the Independence Day celebrations early."